The Third Time

ARGHHHHHHHH (!)


Tense, tense, TENSE ! I just can't believe this.I just can't believe him ! WHAT?! Hah, this is the first time I met a person that is very snobbish and eghhh STUPID! Ohmygod, I can't believe that I had even THINK of having a relationship with that type of guy?! THE HELL?!! Tasha Hasnan! What were you thinking? It was obviously a mistake ! He is so IMMATURE! Harap muka je boleh tahan. Perasan gila nak mampos! ARRGHHHH!! Oh god, this is my third mistake with HIM and I just can't believe that I actually thought he'd changed! You're so wrong tasha. SO WRONG! THANK GOD! I haven't accept him yet. THANK GOD! I'm so greatful that I didn't make the same mistake as I did before. THANK GOD! I'm so lucky that I realized before it's too late. SO DAMN LUCKY! *sigh* 


lots of thanks, Tasha

Mistakes.

Obviously, every single human in this entire world did mistakes. And so do I.

I'm sorry for what I'd said. I know I shouldn't say those things to you. It was mean. I know I broke your heart. I know. I intended to do so. I know you're not that type to fight back but once you did. I was shocked. And angry. So I fought back and I'm sorry for those mean words. But besides that, I got nothing to sorry for. I did nothing wrong to you nor to that girl. And if I ever did something wrong to her. I swear, I did said sorry. And you have no right to yell and get angry cause it's not you whom I made mistakes with. Not you. And for your information, the way you scold me, the way you talked to me shows like you don't even know me? And it hurts. It hurts so bad that you broke my heart. Thank you, I got nothing to say anymore. 

lots of love, Tasha.

Putus Harapan.

Heyy readers -.-


Well actually, I kinda admire this one brainy guy at my school. And he's like freakin' cute and he completes my boxes of perfection for my perfect magicman. Like hell yeah, and dreamingly, I'd even have imagine how my life will turn out if I marry him. Tell you what, I'm gonna be happy. As happy as a happy wife can be. Like super hell yeah. Cause of some factors. I'd always admired him, always hope what we'll turn up meeting each other when we're old enough to get married and we end up being together. HOHOHO what a childish dream xD HAHA lol. Well, frankly speaking. I am kinda close with his bestfriend. And he loves to tell stories about him. And tell you what. Today, this very unlucky day. I'd discovered something. Something very very sad :/ And now I know, why he'd been avoiding relationships -.- Obviously, it is because he's lovely mother had set an arrange marridge for him. YEAY HIM! He's gonna have a good wife. A very lucky woman she is -.- *sigh* But weh tasha, very funny lah you. This story very fairy tale-ish. Haha, and I am so gonna stop writing. Cause this is so freakin' me out. Cause I'm like freakin' sixteen going to seventeen. And I shouldn't like be thinking about marridge and kay tasha. I think you should stop now. LOL


lots of love, tasha :)

I don't fuckin' care.

Heyyho :)


Well, as I state before. Today, we had our roadrun. And guess what? I got 21st place. Lol, I'm so slow haha but at least I'm still counted and I finished before the time is up (; And yeah, I can't feel my leg and sometimes it hurt so bad! And Rumah Hijau came in third out of five :| AGHH, but whatever it is, I had fun today :D Till I saw something. I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know. When I saw them, I was like. Hurt. Real bad. But why Tasha? Is it because you can't be with them? I don't know! Aghh, I hate it. Hate it so much :'/ I tried to forget about it. But the only thing I think today is that scene. Oh it pouch my fragile heart real hard. I was sad, but I don't want to. Hmm. But I know I'm strong :) And I won't care about them already. Yes, I wont. Lantaklah, I don't mind already. Cause I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE! Hihi :'>


lots of love, Tasha.

Glad you're fine.

Hoit hoit. Haha


Hey readers, kay not-so-readers. Kay what am I talking about -.- Nothing's actually happening nowadays, just that I just can't believe I didn't focus in class just because I hate my place :O I don't know why ouh. Errr -,- anyways. Larian Megah is on this Saturday and after road run, there's drama. And after drama, is my add math tuition. Woah, pack PACK PACKK! must be tired-o. Haih what to do? Well, I'm lovin' my life now since it's getting better day by day. So you who-might-not-be-name please don't come to school anymore. Cause you're my worst nightmare! Eghh! Oh yeah, I think I'm crushing on someone. Just that, he's not crush-able. Get it ? Haih whyy lah? So now, I'm trying not to crush on him anymore T.T Eventhough, it's easy LOL, I wanna have some colours in my hearts and soul. It'd been dull and colourless for almost 4 months. So yeah, I'm giving chances to my heart to play around with other hearts. LMAO. But whatever it is, I'm not that type of girl who steal people's okay? No I'm not. I'm kind. Obviously. LOL. On the other hand, I'm teaching my little sister Mathematic. AND I'M FREAKIN' SHOCK when I knew that she don't know how to divides. Dey! She's ten kot, how come she don't know how to divides. And how can the teacher didn't notice that? What is the teacher doin' ? My sister even took extra classes and the teachers still didn't know of her weakness ? What is happening to the world? Why is the teachers not concerned?! WHY?! Haih, this is why I hate teachers . Sorry, people-who-teach but not all teachers are lame some of 'em are great. But please, read my lips. SOME ARE GREAT. I don't know what to say *sigh* Well, I have to teach my sister again. From A to Z. Wait, if I teach her then the teachers is just taking the easy part. THE HELL?! It's their work to make my sister a genius! Fine then, I shall not teach my sister FULLSTOP


lots of love, Tasha

1 Year 1 Month and 1 Day

Heyy bloggie bloggie bloggie.


You're 1 year 1 month and 1 day. Waaah, you'd grown up ! I'm proud of you for staying with me. Hihi loveyousomuch :D You're the only THING that understands me. And the only thing that I satisfy of telling my stories :) Well, bloggie. You are one of my favourite thing in my daily life. So you should be proud of yourself. Hoho, well I'm gettting ready. Going out with my maksu and mommy. Yeayy, I finally knew how to make that Outer-V eventhough it's not that good. But still, I can do it. Muehehe, whatever it is. I'm glad I had my life back. I mean my happy life. Means that my wheel is rolling and my upper day is here! Wohoooo, well I'm listening to Fly.fm. They're talking about how cliche' it'll be to propose at Valentine's day. Yeah, me think so too -,- CLICHE'! So people, please. Get rid of valentine's day oh. HAHA. Just jokin'. Hehe. Well back to the topic. HAPPY 1 YEAR 1 MONTH AND 1 DAY DEAR DEAR BLOGGIEEEEE ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

lots of love, Tasha.

Half upside down.

Heyyhoo :D


Well, today I was happy but not literally. My home teacher changes my best place ever in class to the most pathetic place ever -.- I cried, shamely. Alaah, so what ? I love my place. Yeah, I had been separated with my girlfriends and my boyfriends. SUCK! That's the only word I can say. And it's not fair, okay -.- Obviously, not fair. Yeah, it was suck but my day is getting happier when I get some chocolates for the love day. Kaaaaay I didn't celebrate it okay. People just gave me chocolates, so I was just eating it. Hey who doesnt ? Hoho. Anyways, I just get back from Ayeen's house. Okay, it was beautiful. SUPERB! I love her house. I love her house so much I felt like eating it. AGHH! It was big huge and GRRRR-EAAT! Lovin' it. I wanna stay there. Like hell yeah. Haha, and we ate Domino's at Kak Aishah's house. I don't know why, but Kak Aishah's house is so homey. I love her house too :) I just love houses in Laman Seri. HAHA. Kay, tomorrow's holiday. And I'm out with my aunts and cousins. Can't wait. Ngehngehngeh. And obviously there's gonna be so much work for me since Larian Megah is on this Saturday. I'm the secretary of the Rumah Sukan so duhh~ I'm gonna have so much work to do. Doh! The organization chart pon I haven't finished it yet. Hehe I am lazy hihi. By the way, I'm so lovin' karma ♥


lots of love, Tasha ♥

Smile is always my thing.

HEYHOOOOO ASSHOLEESSSS xD


Hihi I'm happy. FUCKIN' HAPPYYYYY xD
Haha, dunno why weh. I woke up this morning with dark circle around my eyes, I was feeling great. I was smiling. I was excited. I was happy. I just can't believe it but it's actually happening. I was happy :D Happy! Laughing. Hihi I love myself. It's too hard for me to lose my smile. Errr, i think smile likes me. GOSH! haha I love you too smile, hihi. Kaaay weird -.- Whatever it is, I'm obviously not a woman. Nope, not yet. I'm too young weh! Haha. I don't want to be grown ups. I wanna have fun. Enjoy my teenage life while I can. I'm a freakin' girl weeeeeh xD Hee now I'd gain some spirits. I am who I am now. That old tasha. Nope, she's still here. She can't go anywhere. Well, I wont let myself go. I love myself. Are you crazy ? Who don't ? LOL. Anyways, I'm startin' to let go of things now. I don't care anymore. I wont even care already. I mean what the hell, if they wanna go, so just let them be. Begging is not the solution :) And crying is too. So tasha, you better stop yourself from crying. But biarlaaaaah, I love my tears. Hihi, I don't actually cares anymore. As long as I'm happy and the people that surrounds me are happy. Ergo, my life is no longer miserable but instead happyyyyyy :D Hihi.


ps : I am strong, I always said I'm not but I'm actually am strong. Stronger than before weeeh xD Yeahhh, lovin' it.


lots of love, tasha.

Nobody is here.

Correction.


Nobody wants to be here for me. That's it.


I'm all alone. All by myself. I have to make decisions myself. I can't be a girl anymore. I'm a woman. I have to face my problems as an adults! Not crying. No, I can't cry anymore. Cause it will be a waste. Nobody will be here if i cried. I lost everything in my life. Yes, everything. There's no more shoulders for me to rely on. No more. I'm standing by my own. Without any help when I fall. Cause I got no one. No one. I'll lose my smile cause it's a waste. No one appreciate it. And I won't forgive and forget easily like I used to be. Cause I'm not that Tasha anymore. I'm a woman. I understand life more than I should be now. I can't no longer laugh and smile. Cause I lost everything. I lost everyone. 


-tasha

A lot of things is in my mind.

Confuse and guilt.


That's the two words that had been wondering in my mind for this whole two weeks. Who's heart am I gonna break first ? Who's hope am I gonna crash next ? I'm just not that strong ! This drama thing is freakin' me out! I don't know what to do. There's no one who I can ask for help or opinion. I can't ask from my actors themself, they'll surely said things that can make me feel better, but obviously I'm not! I just don't know what to do. Don't know what to decide. If i conclude, people will condemn. And there it goes, I'm gonna lose my guts again. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! Oh god, please help me. I'm clueless. I'm too weak to be in this type of situation. And this is obviously what happens when I'm too close to people. 


ps : To those that only knows of only how to condemn, oh please. you can shut the fuck up cause I don't need those. And yeah, to someone. I don't actually need your comments about my characters, story or my actor and actress and the way of me giving characters to them. You can just shut up and help me if you wanted to. You're time to shine is over and now it's my turn so back off!


lots of love, 
TASHA

fireworks

heyhoo, 

kay tajuk entry ni tak ada kena mengena pon. letak sebab masa tengah pikiaq nak tulis apa, terdengar pulak bunyi fireworks en haha so yeah fireworks. haha anyways, im sorry for my last two emo updates. pfftt entah pape lah tasha ni kan, asal emo je update. kalau tak emo,tak update ceh. haha apaapapon, SORRY PEOPLE! kalau termenyampah baca entry tuh hehe.

   semalam aku pergi uitm shah alam, ada program 'le tour de langkawi' well aku main OTENGGI..ORIENTAS..ORITENGGIRI..TENGGIRII... ahh! entah ape ntah nama dia, hahaha yang guna compass cari check point lepastu punch and cari lg check point lain. and every check point ada marks dia sendiri. haa yang tu lah haha. agak best tapi sumpah memenatkan ! aah, aku panjat bukit yang mak aii curam gila, nak amek short cut punya pasal en haha. tapi yeah, best lah jugak. bapak besar weh uitm shah alam, sumpah tak tipu -.-

tapi best lah jugak, yang lain ada main netball and basketball, futsal pon ada. macam macam lah ada, yang paling cool abe abe cyclist yang seluar ketat metat sampai astaghfirullah tak tercapai dek akalku nak sebutkan. memang ketaaaaaat mengikut bentuk tanpa apa apa edit. lol, tapi aku tak adalah nak usha sangat, terasa kedosaannya LOL ayat merepek -.-

   and semalam pon aku dah start tuition dekat Get A, hmm best lah jugak kalau nak dibandingkan dengan karisma en -.- ehehe. oh aah! aku tak sangka, en en en. my bestweirdririgagaboyfriend dah ada teman tapi mesra maksud aku gf lah.tu je sbenarnya shocking! but whatever it is, congratulations amigos! may you stay with her for long :D

papepon, yeah im still single. hell yeah ! yeah, single. ahaa. eh kau, haaa kau yang gelak tuh. apahal? cari gaduh. 

lots of love, 

TASHA