Im sorry mama.

heyy ,

   GOSG! Im just confuse. Ma, are you letting me go or not ? Im sorry I didnt keep our promise. I know my results are fucking bad but I'd been staying home for 2 weeks! I do what you asked me to do. I obeyed all of your instructions.. I'd been a very good daughter all this while. I kept all of our other promise. Why? Why must you get angry everytime I needed to go out and have fun with my friends? Why ma, why? I respect you more than I respect my teachers ma, believe me. Why do you keep saying those words about not respecting you? Im trying to be the best for you. Why must you get angry when you knew that "she's" not going? Is it because she's clever? Or is it because she's the daughter of your bestfriend? WHY MA ? WHY MA! I never asked for your money to go there like what other kids do. Cause for me, your blessing just to let me go there is more important than anything! I love you ma, I always try to be that girl you want me to be. I always let go of my dreams for you. And I never tell you that, cause I don't want you to get hurt. I know, you always think of my future, of my safety but ma, im 16. I know how to take care of myself. I got my friends to back me up. I got friends ma, remember that. Why must you always scold me everytime I wanted to go out with my friends? Why ma why? I know how to take care of myself. I love you ma, I do. Im sorry, for being too stubborn. But I need to do this, so you could have at least some faith in me. I really hope, you do. 

ps: there's just one thing, im begging you. You're blessing.

lots of love, 

TASHA

LOL

heyhoo, 

   ohmygod lepas rindu doe. seronok gila dapat jumpa korang harini xD well today, aku hangout dengan ying yap shafizul yaya and her cousins. memang best gila xD asyik gelak non stop. ye lah, dah berapa lama tak buat exercise tuh. haha, asyik terperap je dalam rumah ni en. haha. thanks you guys :) I had fun <3

   anyway, tadi yaya buat kerja gila. *SAVE GAZA!* pfft haha, okay ignore that. haha anyways, dia pg dekat seorang dara, tak tau lah dah baligh ke belum. pfft tapi nampak macam dah, hahaa.  okay whatever, si yayot yang memang dikenali dengan perangai gila gila dia nih xD haha, pergi kat minah tuh and cakap, "adik, abe baju hijau tuh mintak number" PFFTT! masa tuh shafizul pakai baju hijau, bhahahah kesian doe shafizul xDD 

   BHAHHAHAH xD tapi mmg have fun gila ahh, haha. pastu budak budak tuh tak habis habis usha kitorang, haihh kesian betul diorang xD hahahaha. lepastu, ada pulak lecak kat situ en. pegh, budak budak kecik tuh pg main lecak tuh. memang syiok habis! rasa macam nak join je. tapi apakan daya, badn dah macam badak sumbu takkan nak join sekaki main kot. mau ternganga diorang nanti :O ahhaa.

   setelah penat lelah berjenaka dan berlawak, kitorang pon decided to go home :) tapi memang ponet lah. haha, walaupapepon tetap EFF YOU AND! haha.

" aww! abe baju hijau tuh syiok kat aku lah <3 hihi, alah! malunya :"> " kata si dara

*mereka terus kaku melihat tenungan asmara abe hijau yang mengancam kalbu. AW! 

ps; PFFTT BAHAHAHAHHAHA LOLOLOLOL, kesian shafizul xDD 

 

 

lots of love, 

TASHA

Herecomesthetearsback.com

heyy

   yeah, Im a big fat liar if I said Im okay right now. Hmm what really happen. Hmm, well it all starts from me, myself. Aku yang mulakan dulu, so yeah tasha. ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!

   They keep on commenting about me ! I know Im not perfect, but I am your family. Please accept me for who I am. And by that time, who do I need the most ? Him. The one who I share everything! The one who I never lie and stuff. And by the time I need him the most. HE AS WELL CONDEMN ABOUT ME! WHY?! Am I that ugly ? Am I that.. egh idk. And yeah, those words he said, really make me hate him. But who am I kidding? I can't hate him. Just that, if he do hates me, then what can I do. I shall say goodbye as well. Yup, goodbye. So in that case, goodbye my wingman. I will always try to forget you.

lots of regrets, 

TASHA

Nurul Hidayah Hamzah :'(

heyyhoo, 

   ARGHH! Rindu tahap gaban dengan minachi ni!!!! *aku still rasa kau nampak cantik gila dalam gambar ni,not to mention always :) pfft* 
anyways! weh aku rindu kau lah doe :(( cepat lah balik dari terengganu. kau buat apa lama lama dekat sane doooh ? D; BALIK LAAAHH!!! 

aku rindu gelak kau.

aku rindu sarcasm kau.

aku rindu muka bengang kau.

aku rindu dirty minded kau.

kau tau tak aku duduh rumah macam orang gila tunggu kau balik?

kau tau tak, aku rindu kau sampai termimpi mimpi?

kau tau tak aku rindu kau gelak dekat jokes aku?

kau tau tak, aku rindu gelak gila gila kita?

kau tau tak, aku rindu masa kita ponteng dekat tangga? *ops, kantoi pulak*

 

weeeeeeehh! cepatlah balik! baru dua minggu tak jumpa kau, aku dah macam orang gila. ni apatah lagi bila kau nak pindah terengganu nanti? AKU TAK NAK WEHH!! kau hangkut aku sekali pergi sana nanti :( pulanglah yaya hamzah!!! HUWAAA D;

 

 

yayoot, cepatlah gelongsor balik ke sini :'(

haha weh, aku rindu masa kita sama sama nyanyi lagu dangdut ni x'D

 weh, aku rindu muka "ayu" kau D;

 babi, miss gila kau chot D;

haha, aku sentiasa happy dengan kau :')

kalau kau gelap aku pon gelap, tapi masa aku gelap, kau tak pernah nak gelap dengan aku sekali. HAHA xD

  YAYA HAMZAH! pulanglaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah T.T

 

lots of love, 

TASHA 

Free car wash :DD

heyyho :D

   Fiuuh, tadi basuh kereta mama and motor abangjul. Penat woaahhh!! Tapi best sangat :D Suci bersih kedua dua kenderaan tersebut <3 hoho But I had fun though :) Hihi, thank you nabila hasnan for helping your REALLY big sister. Haha, tapi dia main je lebih :p

   Actually, tengah bosan tahap gaban, tu yang membasuh tuh. Haishooo, semalam geledah mama punya old closet. Bapak ah, baju baju dia yang dulu elok lagi. Pastu vintage gila! I likeeee, 2 pasang baju aku cilok <3 hikhik, mama tak kisah :) 

 

sangat panas yeee, terima kasihlah payung cameron higland xD

 terpaksa di-blurkan akibat ketiadaan hijab <3 hihi 

   

kasut abangjol menjadi mangsa nafsu menggosok xD pfftt

lots of love, 

TASHA

Lee Yin Ying ♥

She's Lee Yin Ying. She's my bestfriend (: And I love her so much. 

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,
Yang Maha Mendengar, Yang Maha Melihat lagi Maha Memahami;
Sesungguhnya hanya engkau satu-satunya Tuhan yang berhak di sembah,
Aku memohon Ya Allah,
Kau terangilah hati sahabatku, Kau berikanlah dia hidayah-Mu Ya Allah Ya tuhanku.
Supaya dia diberkati dan dirahmati-Mu, tuhan sekelian alam. 
Hanya padamu aku berdoa dan hanya engkau yang dapat mengabulkannya.
Amin.

lots of prayers, 

TASHA

stop it, tasha!

hm tasha dah lah tuh!

   you can't do this to someone, you can't love him. He's not the one for you. He's someone's. You can't have him. Stop loving him! Stop making him loving you! Stop all of your nonsense, all of your stupid thoughts. STOP IT TASHA! You're not doing this again! Not anymore. This is not you! You can't be a REAL bad girl. You can't mess with someone's heart! It's not yours! Stop doing that. Let him go. He's not the one for you. Don't let her cry, she love him more than you do. Imagine if you're the one who sit at her place ? Won't you suffocate ? So stop it! Stop saying that you can't! Everybody can! Stop expecting his texts. Stop expecting his love, and most of all. STOP SEDUCING HIM, bitch.

its been a whileee

heyhooo

   its been a while since i last updated my blog :) haha busy *kot. actually tak ada benda nak cakap tapi sebab blog ni dah lama sangat tak diupdate terpaksa lah jugak -.- ying busy dengan shooting. damn! im bored. grr next week yusra ajak hangout. im not sure, im afraid masa tuh mama tak kasi keluar. grr i wanna gooo :(

 ps : let us pray together for my mother's approval :|

lots of love, 

TASHA

A WILD GIRL TEENAGE LIFE xD

"I have an incredible teenage life. That I dont think other girls in my school could ever be brave enough like I did. I guess. I mean. I skipped school. I cheated. I sneaked out. I climbed fences and Im living the exact thing as a wild rebel teenage girl could live but Im not rebelling YET. Im loving my life now. My teenage life is AWESOME!"

lots of love, 

TASHA 

perigi cari timba ?

heyhoo, 

   eh eh apa pendapat korang pasal perigi cari timba ? hmm dengar macam taik je en ? bhaha, actually saje je bukak cerita pasal ni. ye lah, zaman sekarang mana ada dah istilah istilah macam ni kan ? melainkan kawasan kawasan terperuk kampung yang still makan sirih nun di sanaaaaaa. haha

   tak adalah, ramai orang cakap. perempuan tidak sepatutnya menggadaikan maruah dengan meluahkan isi hati yang sepatutnya menjadi teka teki atau misteri di mata lelaki, ye lah, perempuan kan ibarat berlian yang susah nak dapat. haha susah amendenya, masuk meminang dapat lah, pffft :p

   tapi lah kan, bagi pendapat aku. Kenapa perempuan perlu merana menahan diri daripada bagitahu dekat someone she likes about her own feeling. Engkorang ingat ? Senang nak control feelings ni ? Payah tau tak ?! Perasaan ingin memiliki dan dimiliki. Bila korang tengok lelaki yang korang suka tuh sibuk gelenyah dengan perempuan lain. weeeh, membara weh. So, lebih baik kata terus terang and kalau boleh ikat dia terus. muahaha, macam orang orang kita. kalau lelaki tuh tak boleh terima kita pon. Perasaan sayang boleh dipupuk bit by bit :)

ahaha, tapi dalam 16 tahun lebih aku hidup ni. aku tak pernah lagi lah main main perigi cari timba ni. hehe, tak mau aku. *ceh tasha, cakap je lebih tadi. haha. tapi memang ah kadang kadang aku tak gemar sangat perigi cari timba ni. memalukan kaum perempuan je. seelok eloknya, kita belajar lah menerima dan bersabar. jangan gopoh gopoh. takkan kemana lah kalau dah takdir :) so moral of the story, jangan perigi cari timba. hihi thats all :) BYEEE 
♥

lots of love, 

TASHA

THE FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFFFEEE!!

OHEMGEE, seriously this is the hell of first time i did this!! WOAHH! and it feels gooooddd! hahaha xD

   okay seriously, mula mula sampai sekolah. SUMPAH bosan! lebih lebih lagi cik siti tak datang :| memang tak ah, bosan gile! kitorang lepak je dalam kelas. Tiba tiba y** ajak pergi lombong. Aku of course macam, what the hell -.- edin banyak kali larang kot aku pergi sana. Pastu pastu, ying macam dah bosan gila and suddenly aku fikir thats a good idea. since kat kelas macam takde sape sape lagi dah -.- And im so damn fucking bored. haishooo, then kitorang pon decide nak pergi ^^ haha crazy en ? pfft lepastu lepas rehat diorang dah decide nak pergi. HONESTLY, i am so touched by the gentleness of a***, y** and c***** ♥ sumpah diorang gentle gila and think about our safety. thanks pal :")
   mula mula diorang ajak lompat pagar. I was like WHAT THE HELL?! cause ni first time kot aku ponteng sekolah -.- gilo ko apo ? haha dah lah pakai kain kot! haishoooo. Tapi diorang cakap macam have faith in them lah ape lah. macam macam en, kitorang pon macam dah percaya. Yang sedihnya T.T sampai hati a***** and the rest tinggalkan a*** dengan c***** with a beban like us! kesian diorang kena layan perangai kitorang yang takut takut ni. hihi thanks you guys ♥ I betul betul takut kot :( 
    diorang apa lagi ? paksa lompat pagar en ? tiba tiba dah sampai pagar. abang abang form 5 tengah smoke pulak kat situ en ? aahhh memang tak ah aku nak lompat pagar tuh bila diorang ada kat sane. kitorang pon decide nak lalu lubang. hahaha xD on the way nak pergi lubang tuh. aku nampak dia... god, dia mesti dissapointed dengan aku. dia mesti ingat aku perempuan jahat buat macam nih. dia mesti ingat aku perempuan yang teruk. aku rasa serba salah gila. aku pandang bawah. tak nak langsung pandang muka dia. aku mula dah patah semangat. aku dah malas nak ponteng. aku tak nak! aku nak balik kelas, aku nak nangis. 
    tiba tiba ying pegang tangan aku, and then dia cakap " i know how you feel, i know you felt intimidated. You jangan risau, you ada i. kita sama sama into this. kalau dia tak boleh accept you for who you are, then he's not the one for you then :)" pegangan dia kuat :) aku bangga, aku bersemangat balik. YES! this is me! not her or whoever! haha, masa tuh aku dah tekad. IM SO OVER YOU! muaahahahah
   sumpah weh malu gila berlari pergi kat pagar. and aku cuak gila nak panjat -.- aku pandang pagar tuh lame lame. then aku tengok ying. dia pon cuak, aku tengok sekeliling. kereta memang banyak gila lah lalu lalang en ? shit. aku dah cuak. aku tengok kat pondok dekat dekat situ. ada mak cik mak cik. im having second thoughts! aku pandang ke mak cik tuh. diorang dah start pandang kitorang. y** and a*** dah kat sebelah sana. aku lepas tangan ying. aku tutup mata. the only thing in my mind is that " THIS IS SOMETHING NEW! THIS IS YOUR TEENAGE LIFE! THIS THING WILL BE THE MOST SWEET MEMORIES OF YOU IN THIS SCHOOL!" thats the only thing. aku panjat, aku KANGKANG! aku lompat, WOOOHOOOO!!!!! aku lepas, bahahhaha xD but ying ? dia kat sebelah sane lagi. dia takut, dia nak nangis. this is her first time too. aku mula bagi semangat. GO YING GO! this is our only chance. there's no turning back. bapak ah makcik tuh, masa aku lompat aku dah dengar dia menjerit jerit! dia marah aku. "WOI! Ya Allah anak dara! apa kau buat ni?!!" aku buat bodoh, masa ying dah atas pagar, dia takut nak lompat. aku tarik je dia. Ya Allah mak cik tuh cakap lagi " YA TUHAN! anak dara oi, kang TERKOYAK! hilang dara oiiiii " bapak ah makcik tuh -.- 
   ying lompat, pastu apa lagi ? CABUT LAAAAHH! hahaha xD masa cabut tuh aku terdengar mak cik tuh cakap lagi " ya allah! kalau mak bapak korang tauuu!!!" STOP! masa tuh aku cuak, aku tau kalau mama dengan abah tau. IM DEAD! sumpah, mama takkan percaya dengan aku lagi. aku start jalan. ying pelik, ying tau aku serba salah. then she said " there's no turning back. lantak lah mak cik tuh nak cakap ape !" aku senyum :) at least I got ying. haha :D aku pon ape lagi. TO THE LOMBONG!!! muahahah xD

   sumpah, masa dalam perjalanan pergi. jalan pergi ke sana. CANTIK SANGAT! the most beuatiful view i had ever seen in my life. cewah, tak de lah sampai camtuh. bahha, maksud aku, aku tak percaya alam megah ada tempat cantik macamtuh. aku excited gila. walaupon kaki dah masuk banyak gila duri. haha tapi aku tak kisah :) aku nak sangat tengok lombong tuh. hihi, bila dah sampai, diorang semua start mandi. aku dengan ying tengok je lah. tak bawak baju kot. mane nak join mandi. haha
  memang tak ah kena buli dengan v**** and the rest -.- benci gila. basah lenjun baju! haha ying kena buli nyanyi lagu negaraku xD bhahaa aku kena campak kasut dalam tuh -.- pastu main sorok sorok kasut aku. sumpah bengang gila >:( tapi gelak gelak jugak, cause i really do have fun. aku tak sangka kawan kawan aku ni semuanya gentleman :) semuanya pentingkan perempuan dulu. diorang protect perempuan gila gila kot. haihh im really proud of them :) aku dengan ying je kot perempuan kat situ. haha

ps : sumpah nak pergi lagi lombong tuh xD
 

lots of love, 
TASHA
      

You, you and me

   huuh, entah lah, tak tau lah, pelik lah, kenapa lah, macam mana lah, ape ape je lah!




   I thought im over you, after years i'd been trying to forget you. by the way you treat me, gosh I cant hardly hate you. You were my wingman, my superhero who were there for me every second every minute. I was hoping to be the special one for you but you were obviously not. Trying to figure out whats whys and hows. And finally caught that you cant afford to lose me. Trying really hard to understand those words. And you give back my heart in a million pieces with your another hand holding others heart. I took my heart, bandaging, curing. You broke my heart, oh yes you do. Millions of times, took and throw just like that. But shit, you knew my weakness. You took me back after you crashed others. What kind of human are you ? You gave me hopes, you gave me love, you gave me soul. You make me live with a beautiful scentic heart again. And obviously, I am stupid for keeping faith in you again. And now, it's the time to wait for him to throw my million pieces of heart again. Tasha, you wont understand. I wont understand. I would'nt even care if he broke my heart again cause that'll reminds me of him ♥ the one I love, my first love. My knight and shining amour. Im sure, I can cure my heart bit by bit.




   You, the one who makes me forgot who he are. The one who build my heart, bandage my cuts. You never knew about him. But you always give me stupid spirits. The facts you mention, is never true. The expectation you stated, is never true. But your heart is always right. You love me for who I am. But I was not. Im sorry, I shouldnt let you go at the first place. I know you were about to let me enjoy living, feel your love, feel your sincerity. Im sorry, I really do. Oh if you knew how much I miss your hug, how much I miss your kisses. Those things that I never appreciate when we were together. The one that I always think about when Im with you is him. Now I regret it. I regret it with all of my soul. I want you back, baby oh yes i do. But no, you can't accept me anymore. Oh, it hurts. It hurt so much. And now, you're damn kind. You're new. You're someone else but you never give up on me. I love you now. Oh yes i do. Tasha, dont make anymore mistakes. I will make mistakes, for that mistakes build me to be a better girl ♥ I will love you whole-heartedly. Trust me, Im trying.


ps : haishooo, im so in love with two guys right now -.-


lots of love, 
TASHA

Nyongket je kejonye -.-

wazzzuuupppppp xD

   haha tarak kerja. no actually nak cerita pasal penyongketan aku selama beberapa hari ni. sebelum tuh, definition of nyongket :p NYONGKET dalam segi science maksudnya "to a journey where you have fun" tapi dalam bahasa pasar nye, "keluaq jalan2 makan hangin" okay merepek -.- 

   aku asyik keluar je kot dengan parents, kakak and kawan2. haishooo -.- ni tengah bosan ni and saje saje nak upload gambaq gambaq kitorang keluar :) enjoy :p

caption: macam macam tempat, shopping mall, Pc fair, jog park, kampung and banyak gila lagi yang lain ♥ 

ps : belum masuk hangout dengan kawan kawan lagi -.- haishooo best woaah, mesti ada orang nak life macam aku en ? bhabaha jangan nak perasan sangat lah tasha -.-

lots of love, 
TASHA

macaaam macaaaaam

hooiihh -,-

   okay macam macam ada dalam kapala hotak ku sekarang ini. nasib baik problem dengan fifa tersayang ♥ dah okay. and now tengah kusut kusut ! memikirkan tentang problem dengan teman teman ni, hmm dah lah tengah rindu cik siti gila gila ni :'/

SUDDEN NEWS : my ying baru kena robbed. shes been crying like HELL when she called me :'/ and guess what ? i cried with her too. gosh, im damn worried. she lost her phone and purse. so yeah, contact her from fb only. damn im worried :'/ i cried a lot today. macam macam benda jadi kot :'(

 hmm, damn worried ouh pasal ying :'/ i hope shes okay. i know she need someone right now. i swear if i could i would gone to her and hugged her as tight as i can. and comfort her. totally cant bare to see her tears :'/

ps : tadi ingat nak cerita pasal kampung but yeah tak jadi :'/


lots of love, 
TASHA

berape kalori dah turun =.="

hey hey makhluk makhluk yang beriman :D

   di masa yang aku menunggu turn untuk mandi ni, aku nak ceita sikit pasal semalam :D best gile kot ^^ aku si husband cik limah cik siti puting and nam nam pergi jog :D weheee, haha :D best ah, mula mula macam exhausted gila pergi jalan ke taman rekreasi -.- 

ni tengah otw pergilah ni. penat wok jalan =.=' tapi digagahkan juga ! jalan punya jalan, gelak punya gelak sampai jugak kitorang :D 

   yang tak tahannye nia terus nak balik bila admirer dia pon ade kat situ tengah jog -.- tapi gila ke kitorang nak balik ?! harapan laaaah, tapi kesian nia mase jog asyik kena usha je. haha xD 

   kami pon meneruskan penjoggingan :D *bapak ah ayat -.- haha*

penat penat jogging, kitorang duduk duduk lah    
dulu di tepi tepi. memang rase cool gile tengok 
auntie auntie uncle uncle buat tai chi. 
KAGUM WOOK xD hebat kot orang orang tua ni. stay still dekat position yang guna tekanan otot lama gila. aku tengok pon dah lenguh ni kan lagi diorang. bila lalu dekat diorang rasa macam tengah lalu dekat patung patung tapi sebenarnya diorang tengah meditase, cool gile en? xD 

 hoho setelah dah rase lemak lemak ni macam ada sikit sikit yang dah pecah *pfft boleh rasa ke -.-* ahaha kitorang pon nak memulakan perjalanan pulang. namun -.- cik siti ni sakit perut and kitorang pon temankan lah dia pergi. haih kesian lah pulak en dekat dia :D pastu kami pon meneruskan perjalanan. ehem ehem biaselah lah enn lepas jogging, tak makan pape lagi :p sooo, kitorang pon pergi makan :D ehehehe
   tapi aku tak makan banyak lah -.- *kot :p* ahha, kitorang makan dekat kedai mamak. puting belanje :) thanks PUTING :D lepas makan kitorang pon balik lah. ape lagi ? haha




p.s : aku sayang korang doh :')  ♥
psp : haiyoo, suare tarak D;


lots of love, 
TASHA

new header lah weh :p

haha xD

   muka nak bangga je en pakai new header xD new header laaaaah, jangan nak copycatzzz yeewwrrzz, haha xD tak tau asal, cam nak happy gile je harini. tak tau kenape okay ? haha :D tapi tadi ade ah macam tak suke sikit en -.- tapi dah okay dah :D huehuehue..

   eh actually, nak inform header baru je. macam macam pulak nak cakap, haih pompuan ni :p haha. see you then readers ♥ toodles :)

lots of love, 

TASHA